I recently took my RCGP exam in October. Hence I have been really busy. The good news is I passed guys!!! 😬 It was seriously surreal when I saw my results. I immediately started squealing outside of Lil’Tuesday’s nursery while trying to pick her up. There was a man lining up behind me when I did that so it was extremely embarrassing 🤣🤣🤣.
Continue reading “Don’t worry I passed!”
Can you believe that a 5 year old can actually get shingles?
All my life I thought it was an old people disease. I guess never say never: because my 21 year old sister also had recent activation of shingles only a few weeks ago!
Monday has been such a brave lad. (omg I sound so scouse saying that LOL). Anyone with shingles before knows just how painful it can be. He barely complains, only occasional whimper when he accidentally brushed it.
Seems like shingles is pretty mild in children, because his shingles cleared up in less than a week while it took my sister almost 3 weeks and she is STILL healing!
However because of the infectious nature of it (you can’t spread shingles but you spread chicken pox instead, which is the virus causing it), he was unable to attend school and his childminder as well as she has a baby who hasn’t had chicken pox before. I had to stay at home with him, and my manager told me to work from home.
Okay, I was told to work from home but also told that it’s normally not allowed 🤣🤣🤣😅 it’s so confusing. It made me feel really guilty… I actually lost sleep over it. I’ve been losing sleep over a lot of little things… I think my mental health is really wilting away. I’m trying to pick myself up quickly now!!! I starting doing qi gong exercises to free my mind. I’m trying to care less about the house, and trying to install flooring in our new extension because it’s one of those things that drives me crazy.
I also found out that I am carrying more duties than people who are paid the same salary and were the same grade as me, and bravely brought it up to the manager. To be fair… I found that out a month ago but I didn’t really say anything because I felt bad about it. I have 10 patients in the morning while others had only 6…. Maybe it doesn’t sound like a big difference but trust me, the time shortage is a LOOOOT different. BUT PLEASE CLAP FOR ME, BECAUSE I SPOKE UP. I SPOKE UP FOR MYSELF! I was told that it was a mistake that was overlooked. But it actually made me feel sad. I did felt like I was discriminated because…maybe… I’m… Not good enough..? But anyway I brought it up so that I won’t feel so stressed everyday for finishing late (it was slowly eroding my MH).
I never felt so anxious in my life before. Depressed? Sure….. I mean… I had SEVERE depressive episode needing hospitalisation… But this is different. I’m constantly worrying. I can’t sit still. I can’t sleep. I panic easily. I could feel my heart racing even now as I type. Wow I guess I really do have anxiety 🤣 BUT IT’S OKAY GUYS, I’m sure with exercise and meditation I will get better. It’s just a phase, and I will get through this unscathed!!
The first time I ever heard of serotonin syndrome was in my very first job as a doctor— in psychiatry. WOOPS– no I defo did not read that as a medical student (tsk tsk bad student). In my defense I was the top 20 graduate in my batch and was awarded pass with honours xD! (See how flawed the education system is? If a clown like me could graduate with honours?!?!).
After being discharged from the mother and baby unit (basically a psych unit), I recovered well! I attended the Women’s inspiration class every week with my new friend (Let’s call her Eve; not her real name but close enough xD). I was getting VERY motivated and inspired from that class, and started decluttering the house. I FILLED A 4TON SKIP (You know the thingy that garbage truck load your trash into???) on my own! I definitely don’t miss ANYTHING I threw away. And even those that I was hesitating, now gone, did NOT make me feel like my life is missing anything.
Continue reading “I have serotonin syndrome and it’s not as rare as you might think!”
I was ashamed when I was first diagnosed 4 years ago. Despite mental health issues prevalence of 1 in every 4 people, it wasn’t a norm, it wasn’t publicly accepted. Now I no longer hide. I openly disclose my depression in hopes to build awareness in others. I wont lie that deciding to write this post took a lot of courage. But if I could stop 1 single person from getting to where I was, it would be worth being judged by everyone. I really do not want anyone to go through the same, and I hope people would seek help instead of hiding behind a mask.
That wasn’t how I started however. I didn’t felt ‘unhappy’. I didn’t avoid seeing my GP or refused to seek help for my mental health. I didn’t know I was depressed. I was a relatively happy-go-lucky A&E doctor. I loved my job, I love my patients and most importantly I love my colleagues. I laughed at work with my colleagues, made jokes to cheer up my unfortunate patients. Did I notice something was amiss? No.
Continue reading “I have depression and please stop telling me to cheer up.”