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Drew this on my new s22 ultra 😀

I can’t believe it’s been a year since Lil’Tuesday join our unit of odd-family. She’s still such a baby in my eyes…. And I still remember how she was helplessly a newborn.

We didn’t make a massive first birthday party for her, because my in law isn’t with us, and neither are my parents. I somehow do feel quite guilty towards Tuesday because while Mr. Monday got a MASSIVE birthday celebration and endless birthday gifts. Mojuju also was working on night-shift which ended on Tuesday’s birthday so I was really worried we were going to do NOTHING.

Thank god Mojuju agreed to go out to celebrate it.

Continue reading “Little Tuesday turns 1!!!” →

A good friend of mine recently escaped a horrendously toxic relationship. I can’t stop congratulating him/her for dodging a massive bullet. I had my fair share of terrible relationships and while mine may not be as toxic as my friend’s it was as regrettable. 

The thing is, when you’re in the situation it is really hard to see anything clearly. While many may tell you that you definitely should run… your heart says… no. “S/he may change”. “We may work things out”. “I have my own faults too”. “I contributed to this too”. Its really tough, and trust me I know. I remember when I was in a relationship with this horrible guy who wouldn’t stop threatening to break up with me, at one point I could no longer cry. My close friends asked me, “aren’t you tired of all these by now?”. I was, I definitely was; and yet I still didn’t leave him! I waited until he left me because I just doesn’t know how to initiate a breakup anyway ಠ⌣ಠ

  1. S/he does not mix well with your friends, and does not intend to

Hmm, I get it, not everybody get along. I don’t get along with every single Mojujuju’s friend either. But most importantly, there should be a sense of wanting to be amicable. We recently went to a group holiday in the forest where we celebrated Mr. Monday’s birthday there. Those friends were Mojujuju’s friends and each couple has a child. We had so much fun! Granted I’m quite introverted so I did stayed back for some social events but we were able to enjoy holiday together!

Meanwhile my friend’s ex came over to my place (I literally invited this person and cooked for this person), and s/he was offended (over absolutely nothing) and gave me a dirty look in my own house! S/he also proceed to “$£% about me to my friend and said s/he would never again hang out with me. Cool enough, maybe we just don’t get along; however this apparently also applies to all my friend’s other friends!!!

Like I said, you don’t need your significant other to be BFFs with your friends; but if s/he doesn’t get along with ANYONE even superficially, don’t you think there’s something wrong? Unless your friends consists of all high profile criminals and drug addicts, s/he should respect them enough to be able to socialise!

2. Wanting to change your core beliefs, whether you like it or not.

This applies on so many things but the easiest way to explain it is probably religion. I do think that introducing your religion to your lover is something really sweet and loving. Especially in my opinion, spirituality is a very personal thing; hence it’s a little like having to open up your entire self to this other person. And the end result is usually an acceptance, if not an embrace of the religion. 

But sadly this isn’t always the case. Mojujuju did introduced me Christianity and while I appreciated it very much, my heart still doesn’t speak to me about it. I strongly believe that if I were to embrace a religion, I would embrace it wholly and completely. I just can’t have even a single doubt on it. I can’t say I’m a Muslim but I don’t fast. I’m a Christian but I don’t believe in Angels. And Mojujuju understood that. As I’ve mentioned, faith is a personal thing; and it should be up to the individual. It’s between an individual and ‘God’, no one else.

But when your significant other is forcing you to change your core belief, such as religion, even after you’ve tried your best and it still doesn’t resonate with you… why is s/he doing it?

3. It’s all your fault

I think this is the hardest one to realise because when you’re with a toxic person, they can really somehow brainwash you to the point you actually believe that you’re wrong!

S/he went out to flirt with others? it’s your fault for having to work overtime and leave him/her lonely.

S/he got angry and broke some belongings out of rage? It’s your fault for making him/her mad!!

You’re having trouble adjusting to this ‘new core belief’ she wanted you to believe in? It’s your fault for not trying hard enough.

Basically s/he could get away with things that goes against the mutual agreement of what an exclusive relationship is, because it must be something you’ve done.

Another massive red flag? Every relationship failure is because of his/her exes; never him/her.

4. S/he wants you to stop talking to your friends

This is when things start to get creepy. Why would a person who love you want you to stop any form of contact with your friends (especially those you’ve known for years before you met this person?).

It’s called social isolation; to isolate you from others so you will be more easily influenced by him/her

5. Threatening to break up

If you’re breaking up once a month, better say sayonara. Breaking up should be the last resort; not as a means to control the other person. If you truly have an issue and you’re NOT changing for the better, it’s logical to want to break up with you; but if you clearly suck, then s/he should just say goodbye to you. But why repeated break up threats? It’s just tiring.

No photo description available.

 1. Virginity equates to honour.

I grew up in a conservative community and my mom has always emphasised on virginity and purity. This caused me to remain a virgin until I met Mojujuju. Pretty sure I lost a few exes because I refused to have sex anyway ┐(´д｀)┌. However for some reason virginity only applies to girls and not boys? It’s fine for the boys to sleep with 100000 but the moment one of us are known to have ‘lost our flower’, suddenly we’re as trashy as it can be.
When I ‘lost my virginity’ to Mojujuju, it was… ugh… breathtaking in a way but also super underwhelming. I don’t know what I was expecting lol but… well… that’s it? So I’m… not a virgin anymore??! (╬ಠิ益ಠิ) What does this even mean??! 

I don’t recommend sleeping around okay — (risk of STD lol). But I just think women should stop being brainwashed about virginity and how it ruins their ‘honour’. I think once they hit 25 especially (like me), it’s just pointless. I still do think that love making is something very intimate however, and is something that would truly affect you if you don’t carry it out with the right person. So ‘yes’ to careful selection of who you have sex with, ‘no’ to pushing virginity and honour concept.

Continue reading “10 [controversial] things I’ve learnt growing up that simply isn’t true.” →

I’m sure half of you is having a mini panic attack just by reading the title of this post. Death is something so difficult to talk about, and I DID NOT choose to talk about it with Monday. He wanted me to read one of the Fairytales in Chinese that I bought for him in attempt to 1. teach him mandarin / chinese, 2. improve my mandarin reading skills (loll not going well since all I do is read the pinyin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) 

The Little Matchgirl (Short 2006) - IMDb

If you don’t know this classic tale, it’s basically about a girl who sell matches in the winter and couldn’t sell any and couldn’t go home. She decided to sit in the cold and lit all her matches while fantasizing about warmth, food and lastly love from her late grandmother. She obviously died; and that was it. WHAT A FUTILE AND SAD STORY. Seriously some of Hans Anderson’s stories are just painfully pointless. I honestly don’t know what the moral of the story is. To not sell matchsticks?

When I told Monday that she saw her grandmother and lit all her matches so she could hug her grandmother, and then died — Monday’s face went flat white.

“She die?”

Me: Yea..

Monday: Awh that’s so sad. I don’t want her to die. Why she die?

Continue reading “Discussin ‘Death’ with my 4 year old.” →

The first time I ever heard of serotonin syndrome was in my very first job as a doctor— in psychiatry. WOOPS– no I defo did not read that as a medical student (tsk tsk bad student). In my defense I was the top 20 graduate in my batch and was awarded pass with honours xD! (See how flawed the education system is? If a clown like me could graduate with honours?!?!).

After being discharged from the mother and baby unit (basically a psych unit),  I recovered well! I attended the Women’s inspiration class every week with my new friend (Let’s call her Eve; not her real name but close enough xD). I was getting VERY motivated and inspired from that class, and started decluttering the house. I FILLED A 4TON SKIP (You know the thingy that garbage truck load your trash into???) on my own! I definitely don’t miss ANYTHING I threw away. And even those that I was hesitating, now gone, did NOT make me feel like my life is missing anything.

Continue reading “I have serotonin syndrome and it’s not as rare as you might think!” →

It was a great weekend, one that I would miss.
Though what was ahead I could not have guessed,
The inevitable misfortune of the fortunate soul.
Against a battle that cannot be won, we have all been told.

As I walked in the air was heavy,
Silence was ringing, and the light felt hazy.
Where have he gone? We all asked what we knew.
Another farewell in the room; and it was from you.

You’re my first last goodbye, I have had many then.
I have held hands as they go, both women and men.
But all I could remember is you, for you are my first inevitable lost.
You might not remember me however, as the fairies were with you.

On good days you spoke to me, of your home you wish to see.
I sat and listen to your tales, feeling sorry that you can’t be.
On bad days you called the only name you knew,
But she is on another side, waiting for you.
I hope now you could be together again,
Or at least every now and then.

I’m sorry I wasn’t there, when you breathe your last breath.
Without a family left beside you, or even just a friend.
Was it frightening or liberating, I never cease to wonder.
To know there’s no one left behind, to neither mourn nor cry.

There is something in your voice,
It trembles as you speak.
It catches my breath,
Forcefully taking my voice.
I’m left feeling bare,
With these tears I held back in.

Papa’s hands are always so big,
with faded prints and peeling skin.
Broken nails with dirt and grime,
Freckles dotted up the sleeves.
Don’t forget the sunburn on your neck.
Especially after you worked your back.

Always intrigued by your ears,
We call them the Buddha’s lobe.
But what fears me the most,
Is if I gaze too far and too long.

Not far away is your fearsome eyes,
Which appeared as deep as the bottomless ocean.
Your lids sags down full of wisdom,
But it wanders far… into the abyss of the past.
You have worked hard for us,
But you haven’t for yourself.
I could tell by your eyes that your soul is still sailing,
In a dream you could only dream but not live.

I held your hands tightly, unable to say a word.
But all I really want to say is “Papa close your eyes.”
You deserve a rest, a nap, a sleep, a snore.
For your body has given so much… I’m afraid it won’t take more.

May be an image of 1 person, baby and indoor

Since my last update, Chinese new year has literally came and gone by, I have failed and passed my driving theory test, had my doctors messed up with my medication, lost my phone and got a new one, and last but not least, lost my entire savings to my new-used-car.

First thing first, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°. This is the time of celebration, reunions and appreciation! Another year has gone by and COVID is unfortunately still here?! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞!!! Unfortunately due to personal circumstances we couldn’t travel back home for Chinese New Year; so the ‘reunion’ part of it is really bummed. At this rate Mr. Monday and Lil’ Tuesday are gonna be complete white-washed half-baked Asians (ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू).

I had the entire house cleaned out for CNY but it took only 2 days for the entire house to be turned upside down, infinite amount of laundry needed folding in the basket ╥﹏╥. Unfortunately I wasn’t aware that my medication doses were unintentionally lowered by my doctors— but all is well! It was picked up before I spiral back to where I started. But gosh, I was wondering why I constantly feel so tired, and everything around me felt so slow…. and…. a few of my plants actually died because I just had no energy to care ╥﹏╥….

Continue reading “Chinese New Year 2022!” →

Mr. Monday started having seriously high fever on Sunday night. Mojuju nursed him throughout the night but his fever did not go down.

“He’s roasting like a pig!” Mojuju tried to dress him to nursery. “I don’t think he can go nursery like this.”

“I don’t wanna go school,” Mr. Monday was whining half asleep.

So for the past 2 days he has been at home with me. His fever was manageable on calpol and neurofen and he ate all his meals too. On Monday night I checked him for Kawasaki signs (more info here) , which reassured us as we went to bed. I was however increasingly concerned about his flushed face. It wasn’t just the red cheeks that bothered me, there was something odd about his appearance which now I realise; his entire face was red except around his lips!

As if one sick child wasn’t enough, Lil’ Tuesday started to have chicken pox symptoms on the day itself

Tuesday (the day, not the baby lol) was brutal. Mr. Monday was having high fever all day, while Lil’ Tuesday’s chicken pox was full blown. Poor girl had fluid filled rashes (like really full of water) all over her body AND genitals, AND FACE, AND LIMBS. She’s only 4 months and doesn’t know what itch means, or what scratching is. She was generally irritable, uncomfortable, wouldn’t settle.

At this point I felt like my hair was going to fall out.

Then at night (Tuesday night), Mojuju brought Mr. Monday to me and told me he was complaining of anal pain. This is a red herring, he has an anal fissure because he wipes his ass so clean that even his skin came off lol. While examining his butt and putting barrier cream for Monday, I felt the skin of his belly and back, then told him to show me his tongue. His tongue which had a thick white covering in the morning, is now fully red with small red bumps. Strawberry tongue, I thought to myself. I ran my hand up and down his back again. Sandpaper rash…exactly the same as the boy I once seen in my paediatric posting. I’ve only felt it once, but I could never forget the sensation of such tough skin texture.

“His fever is not going down even with neurofen,” Mojuju exclaimed.

“He has strawberry tongue and his skin feels like sandpaper,” I told him.

“What does that mean?” 

“I think he has scarlet fever. If he does, he needs antibiotics as soon as possible before he goes septic since it’s been 2 days. If it’s not scarlet fever, I’m scared that it could be kawasaki”.

“So I’ll bring him to A&E now—“

“But the skins on his hands aren’t peeling so I don’t think it’s Kawasa–”
Mr. Monday cried in the midst of our discussion, “I want to see doctor!”

So off Mr. Monday went with Mojuju to the paediatric hospital while I stayed home with Lil’ Tuesday who was struggling with chicken pox. It was 8 hours wait, they came home at 6.30 A.M.. Mojuju was furious. It appears Mr. Monday was triaged as viral fever and they had put him at the bottom of the list. Even children that came hours after Monday was seen earlier. I was just relieved that Monday was seen, and that he did not need any hospitalisation.

“I told them, ‘look, it’s either scarlet fever, or Kawasaki, choose one quick’,” Mojuju explained. His eyes were weary from being awake all night.
“So what was it?”

“It was scarlet fever. Monday got some antibiotics now”

Continue reading “Mr. Monday infected by Group A Strep aka Scarlet Fever!!! Then Lil’ Tuesday…” →

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