One of our chickens (小白）is now broody again as we’re again blessed by the spring. She wouldn’t stop sitting on the eggs and hoarding them, so we had to separate her from the rest of the flock because we couldn’t break her broodiness.
I watched her turned each eggs under her with her beak as she was meant to do. Apparently even if eggs are incubated artificially, we have to turn them around regularly to stop the chicks from sticking onto the shells. They’d die if they’re stuck to the shells when the break out of them.
I wonder how 小白even knows that. It’s not like she read about it, or she had any precious experience with it. Ah, it must be genetically written into her. A tendency in nature. Something that does not need to be taught as its already been written down in their DNA like an instruction manual.
We humans are so segregated by nature. If it wasn’t the Internet advice, I wouldn’t have known that I must not lie on my back when I was pregnant as it would compress on the blood vessels supplying the placenta. I mean would you even know??? It’s even more absurd that for centuries we taught mothers to resist their motherly urge to cuddle their crying baby at night. And in this day and age we even need breastfeeding advice to teach us the correct way to latch a baby to feed on our nipples. Nearly 80% of breastfeeding failure are due to poor latch.
It made me realise that maybe it’s time for us to go back to nature. Or maybe it’s too late, and we are now all just a lost flock of mammals who will never regain the instincts once blessed by nature to us.
After alot of self reflection and going through things with therapist, family and close peeps, I have been told repeatedly that I do not love myself.
It did not came to me as a surprise, it just hurts that everyone sees it but I’ve been denying it.
Maybe because I was never truly experienced unconditional love.
Or maybe I just always feel the need to please others first.
So I’ve started a journey of self love.
And you know what? Contrary to what others think, trying to love myself is really difficult. And I’m starting to realise that it’s probably difficult to everyone.
The first question lies in: what does it mean to love myself?
I was asked if I would forgive a certain mortal.
Truth to be told, I have forgave many
Many whom had wounded my heart.
I have forgotten many cuts, many burns.
Never have I believe in resentment.
Never had I failed.
But never have I thought too there would be a mortal,
Who is undeserving of any forgiveness in the world.
Do not resent the road you paved with trifling jealousy.
Resent choice.
Resent yourself.
We are but a speck of dust in this universe
What for do we hurt
It is all but a meaningless battle
Everything begins and everything ends
Just a little sprinkle
Into the wound
That’s already torn
My supervisor at work has introduced me to putting marmite onto my toast.
LIFE CHANGING
So I’ve been doing it at home with an XO marmite 😂 (yes I’m extreme). There’s actually an Xtra Old version of marmite by the same company! The flavour is so much more packed with the same level of saltiness! 🥹
What’s shocking to me is my sister gave me the ew face 😱 then when we were talking during my breakfast with me holding my toast, she was saying “oh why does it smell so bad here”, and then realised I was holding a marmite toast.
“oh, it’s your marmite that smells bad”
WELL YOUUUUU SMELLS BAD QYUNIIIIIIIII 😱😡😤
I’m not a superstitious so welcome 2024 everyone!! Here’s to another year of chaos because no moment in our home is quiet 😂
2023 has been a challenging year. There has been many interpersonal growth, learning to stand up for myself and my family, change of workplace and adaptations, academic hurdles.
Although it sounded like alot, I’m happy things has been going well. Mojuju and I are even more closer and understanding than before. My dad’s health has been improving since his surgery, and we are trying our best to get back home to see him ASAP. And Monday and Tuesday are growing well and healthy.
I’m also adapting well at work and got to know my colleagues better. They are all really nice to me, and my patients are really lovely as well. I really enjoy the community visit… Is it mean to say that the houses are much cleaner than the previous area I was deployed? 😅
Unfortunately the same cannot be said about the world. While we are bathing in comfort and bliss, half the the world are suffering in pain and hunger. I wish there’s something we can do collectively, but the older I get the less faith I have in humanity. We will always resort to violence. I’m not naive, I know that if one side withdraws violence, the other side may not. But I believe, if we be kind to everyone we are able to, the world will be a better place. 2023 has been a really bleak year for the world so I hope this year would be better.
So let’s start 2024 with love and kindness and end it with a better place for everyone we know!!
LET’S CALL OURSELVES TEAM SUNSHINE because THAT’S WHAT WE GONNA BRING TO THE WORLD! WOOHOOO
Happy birthday Jesus, eventhough your birthday was months before!
We were listening to Christmas music from Alexa until a birthday song came up. Lil’Tuesday favourite hit mix: but I was like “ok that’s not what I was looking for,” I then was told that technically it is Jesus’ birthday. I had a light bulb moment there 😂😱
We were actually having a candlelight dinner while listening to the music. Lil’Tuesday insisted we blow the candle 😅. Luckily for us, it was actually at the end of our dinner.
Oh how I love the vibe of candles and lighted Christmas tree in the corner of our dining room, with my mom’s signature black pepper lamb chop paired with our pond grown watercress (accidental farming 😂 seems like the koi is fertilising the watercress TOO WELL). I always loved candlelight dinners, but personally never had much of them because… Hey who needs candles when there’s electrical light right?? Mojuju is a very practical man….and he also LOVES SUPER BRIGHT ROOMS. (it gives me migraine sometimes so I bought dimmable bulbs now).
I really made this year’s Christmas extremely exciting for Mr. Monday and Lil’Tuesday this year. Partially because last Christmas we were skint AF and made it a small Christmas with limited gifts. This year, I passed my exam and got a massive salary raise!! 20% raise 😭. Thank God I only took one attempt at it… So the salary raise didn’t cost much 😂
Some may say that I’m totally spoiling my kids. I don’t usually buy them gifts so I really think it’s well deserved. Monday and Tuesday was wiping all the cabinet and window clean yesterday, as well as moping THE ENTIRE GROUND FLOOR. You might think that a 5 year old and 2 year old probably didn’t do it well…. But no it’s seriously sparkling clean 😂. I’m really impressed with Lil’Tuesday. She sprays with (water which she thought its detergent) and really wipe everything really clean. Monday and Tuesday are also always showing so much affection to Mojuju and I, and they are the sweetest lil thing. They really deserve to be spoilt!!!
I still hope that bloodshed stops worldwide, and human can find a way to peace. I pray we escape from all suffering. And I pray the world would stop and appreciate the beauty of earth, and dissipate all hatred in their hearts that are holding them down.
I’m not a Christian, it didn’t stop me from loving a Christian man. I didn’t stop me from celebrating Christmas. Every festival are worth celebrating, because life is all about celebration and being in a community together.
Merry Christmas and stay safe everyone ❤️❤️❤️💕😘