For my friends and acquintances who reside in the U.K. “strike” is no longer an unheard word recently. It appears that the entire country is on strike; from postmen, to railway workers, from nurses to ambulance workers. Today, I found out that even the teachers are also on strike starting next Wednesday.

Junior doctors' strike: NHS medics walkout for fourth time across ...

These aren’t the only people on strike. There are other unions and professions balloting to go on strike for fair and equal pay, including doctors. Doctors are demanding to have their pay restored (not “raised”) and does not want to work with the NHS pay review bodies (who have done absolutely nothing but undermine every healthcare workers’ pay).

BBC recently interviewed BMA regarding this and the interview really made my blood boil. First of all, majority of doctors aren’t really great at being interviewed; we’re more of an interviewer really. The BMA rep was basically bombarded with rethorical questions such as ‘do you think increasing doctors’ pay by 30% is truly the priority right now? Given the state of the NHS at the moment and the issues with nurses and ambulance poor pay?’

The interview made doctors look unreasonable in trying to request for a fair pay for the amount of work and responsibilities placed upon us. Because NHS is crumbling, because nurses are paid significantly lesser than doctors: we should also be paid poorly?

Let me break down the statement above to you while we are being paid £16 an hour:

P/s: disclaimer: anything below is my personal view and does not represent any other doctors in the NHS.

1. NHS clinical service is currently kept afloat on doctors’ conscience

Despite having our pay rise significantly cut below inflation value— despite our salaries being so low that half of us could not afford mortgages, we STILL continue to work for the NHS and give it our all.

This means over time – with no extra pay. Of course a system has been in place back in Jeremy Hunt’s era for doctors to claim back extra hours but this system is so very flawed. The specific department would have to fork out the money (not the trust or management) and the clinical director would have to carry out a meeting with the specified doctor. Instead of being paid, we’re advised to improve our time management, to take extra breaks (eventhough it’s impossible). Lastly they would try to offer us a few hours off during next working hours— which will not happen because our bleeps will be bleeping like a hungry baby pigeon.

“Many other jobs also have unpaid hours especially artist’s and those in marketing. What makes doctors special?”

Nothing makes doctors special. You’re right. But the difference between those jobs and a doctor is that you have to do those unpaid hours to keep your job. But a doctor don’t.

We aren’t paid enough to do overtime. But we still do it, because if we don’t who will? In the end, it is not our employer who suffers but patients. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we doctors just don’t have the heart to do so. It is why we became doctors – – – to help those in need.

Can you imagine a world where the doctor clocks out at 6pm sharp despite the patient bleeding to death?

The government is taking advantage of our traits, commitment and hippocratic oath!

2. Being a doctor means dedicating your entire life to the public

When you start medical school, it is a sign up for a massive commitment. Your entire life would be about medicine. While my non medics friends are hanging out, I had to constantly refuse because we have SO MANY EXAMS. I studied insanely hard to graduate with honours. But it wasn’t just that.

After graduating we are to carry out housemanship where second phase of intense training begin. While in medical school you’re learning, during our housemanship we are to work, while working, while bracing ourselves to carry out clinical procedure that we likely have not done on real patients before.

We are to keep a portfolio every year to ensure we are STILL competent to be a doctor. The portfolio is a pain in the ass. Some specialties require so many entries that we have to literally spend hours weekly to update it at home.

You also don’t automatically progress up the ladder. It all depends on whether there are training spaces (very competitive). And after you get a spot, you need to (again) carry out your portfolio well, compete with your colleagues to complete certain rare procedures, while carrying out daily duties caring for your patients.

Can I also remind you that we have major exams to pass as well to progress? These are much harder than medical school finals and cost us a couple of grant each time! Even after ending up as a consultant or a full fledge GP, we are required to continue our education on our own.

3. You will be spending A LOT to keep your job as a doctor.

Now I know that every job has their own cost but we are required to pay Gmc (medical Council), Bma (Union) , MDU/MPs (defence union) every year as well as membership fee for our respective specialty. This would often cost £2k-4k depending on your rank.

As you progress you might have to start purchasing extra medical equipments for yourself, and paying £2-3k for your exams. Of course if for unfortunate reasons you did not pass your exams, you have to pay again to retake them.

4. Okay so training while working, portfolio, is that it? NO.

You’re required every year to carry out an audit or quality improvement project outside of your working hours. These are obviously unpaid, but if you don’t carry them out, the NHS will not improve and it’s service will not be adequately evaluated.

Why we are not paid for audits is beyond me, but it’s a mandatory part of our training.

Besides trying to carry out live saving duties in the day, we are also required to teach and guide medical students that are posted in the hospital. Sometimes it’s so hard to find extra time to listen to their clinical history and plans, we have to skip lunch or go home late….

5. We are responsible for nearly everything.

The moment you graduate and work as a first year doctor, EVERYONE will look at you for help. Despite phlebotomist having 8-10 years of taking blood, despite nurses having over 2 years of experience on every procedure, if they fail they will look for the doctor.

It doesn’t matter if it’s your first day of being a doctor— EVERYONE WILL BE DEPENDING ON YOU.

Who deals with patient complaints? Doctors.

Who deliver bad news if patient died? Doctors. (even if its not the doctor who found the person)

6. Whether doctors should be altruistic or not, we still have family to feed and bills to pay.

One of the most ridiculous argument I have heard is that doctors should be altruistic, and not “money minded” as they knew they need to be—- in order to be a doctor. And if they can’t, they should leave the field.

I am gobsmacked at the comment. Let’s be honest, no matter how much you love your job, you need to be paid adequately for your effort RIGHT? How more altruistic should we be— after literally keeping the NHS alive on declining salary? When is enough, enough?

You cannot have a kind and caring doctor and pay them breadcrumbs

Despite the difficulty of the job, we remain doctors because we care. If we aren’t caring, we really won’t remain in this demanding job.

7. Not every doctors are middle-upper spoilt brat.

I commonly hear general public commenting that doctors are all from middle class peeps who had never suffered or go through difficulties. Always financially dependant on parents and have their head above the clouds about how much they should be earning.

I will be 100% honest with you: my parents aren’t from middle class and my father sacrificed A LOT to make me a doctor so I could have a better financial security and future. I did have partial scholarship for my outstanding academic results which helped, but I also worked parttime after my study hours for my bills and expenditures.

Bottom line, one of the reason I worked so hard to be a doctor is to improve the financial situation of my family. I did not become a doctor to be paid £16 per hour.

8. Every job has its own occupational hazard. Doctors aren’t excluded.

You may think that every healthcare workers have similar occupational hazard: but the risk isn’t similar. Logically speaking nurses and doctors are at highest risk of any form of infectious hazard

I have experienced many times where other healthcare workers refusing to take bloods from HIV positive or TB positive patients and lie that they have tried – – – can’t get it, so who’s responsibility is it? Doctors.

Pandemic isn’t even over yet and everyone has forgotten the amount of doctors and nurses who had passed away from COVID-19.

Because most of the needle works are carried out by doctors (and some amazing nurses), risk of needlestick injuries and contracting possible HIV and hepatitis B is higher than other careworkers.

9. PTSD is just another occupational hazard

Many doctors are hesitant to admit any form of mental health issues relating to their job, especially PTSD but it is the white elephant in the occupation.

It is there, it is a massive problem. But nobody ever talk about it.

It’s really not easy watch people die as a daily part of the job: especially when you’ve been treating the patient for months (or years as a GP). What’s worse is the keep calm trying to deliver the news to wailing families.

Some doctors are extremely careful or defensive wuen it comes to certain conditions— sometimes to a level of being unreasonably careful. We call this defensive practice. Yes it’s usually caused by fear of legal repercussions BUT no one talk about PTSD being one of the reason why.

10. The morale amongst NHS doctors are all time low.

After the revamp of junior doctor contract in 2016 by Jeremy Hunt, the morale amongst doctor has gradually drop over the years.

From enthusiastically working overtime to care for patient’s needs— now most of us felt like ‘we not paid enough to care’.

Poor salary equates to poorer financial status, causing more doctors to take up extra locum shifts to earn extra cash. Not only it impacts doctor’s work life balance, family life, but also physical and mental health.

This then eventually lead to mental health crisis, or just general physical health deterioration. Doctors have been taking more sick leave than before.
If you truly want NHS to survive, you need to pay all health workers the pay they deserve, including doctors.

But that is the irony. Because it’s clear that the Tories does not want NHS to survive. Now they successfully Brexit, they no longer need to follow EU healthcare system of having equal access of healthcare; and they can privatise NHS like other ‘free countries’.

OMG did you realised today is Friday the 13th??? Σ(°△°|||)︴

I didn’t actually. But I had a horrible horrible shift today with lots of insanely lengthy cases. I also felt that I have been booked patients who did not actually need to be seen…. but because they have been booked; I can’t not see them. 。゚( ゚இ‸இ゚)゚。 And unfortunately the entire consultation was insanely difficult due to the patient’s co-morbidities or legal issues.

I was whining to my colleague and they said to me

Well it’s Friday the 13th!!!

I actually have no idea what Friday the 13th signifies. ゚(o ̄▽ ̄o) But I know that this is the MOST TIRING shift I had since I started working here 6 months ago (T▽T)

Good news is that Mojuju has finished his row of nightshift, and I no longer have to deal with the kids on my own after work. (≖ლ≖๑ )フ (Throws Mr. Monday to Mojujuju). I don’t think Mojuju knows just how much Mr. Monday misses him whenever he is not around. He’s so lazy that he wouldn’t even brush Mr. Monday’s teeth with him and leave him to his own devices. When I asked him to do it, he kept saying that Monday could do it on his own. ヽ( ̄~ ̄ )ノ Well of course he could, but that doesn’t mean he wants to. He misses Mojuju so much that every second and every activity would calm his sensitive soul down and have him to behave better.

Ah, but you know men. They don’t really think far ahead about anything

Since realising that Monday is a highly sensitive child, I have been noticing many different things that would drive his behaviour sideways ..・ヾ(。><)シ. And actually many of it is loneliness and wanting some affection. Sadly because Lil’Tuesday is still a baby and is very cute, she gets most of the attention. Monday kind of act out to get the same attention and has developed some annoying habits such as whining like a baby. ಥ_ಥ But Mojuju doesn’t see why he’s doing that. I’ve also been reading books and materials about highly sensitive children and it really helps!

There’s so much to learn about my own child who I MADE cell by cell. Life is such a mystery, and as Buddha always say; nothing is permanent. Not even the baby you made. He is now his own person and I need to know him all over again (つ・▽・)つ⊂(・▽・⊂)

I’m going through some adjustment with my medications due to side effects and it is really affecting me mentally. (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)゚  The entire week has felt really grim and dark, and I have neglected everything at home and get by with just the bare minimum. (´Д`。)

The house is a total nightmare and mess, but luckily my sister is around to help out. (*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡ Words can’t describe how much I appreciates her every little help that I could barely fit on my plate.

I’m kinda sad today because I felt like I went to work with my heart left at home. ☆⌒(> _ <) Then early morning I had a patient who spent over 30 minutes complaining about her life and how unfairly she has been treated by everyone in her life— which was totally irrelevant with the problem that the consultation was about. Not to mention this person had THREE separate consultations in the last 7 days and the appointment today was completely unnecessary! Can’t really stop her; but I really felt so mentally exhausted listening to her. (╥﹏╥) I tried offering solution, or offering to mediate the situation but to no avail.

Anyhow the rest of the day was just be barely getting by.

Continue reading “Today I am so sad, but tomorrow is a new day.”

GUYYYYYSSSS you wont believe how dumb I was... am… I was trying to change the domain of my blog from www.octoberfly.blog to www.octoberfly.co.uk; because… the first link is going to expire in a few months time, while I own the second link up until 2027 (yes I stupidly paid a lot of money for it).

Then the next thing I know is my entire site disappeared (ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ︵ ┻━┻

It took 2 days for me to figure out how to restore it – and another 4 days to figure out how to safely change my blog domain link ಗಾ ﹏ ಗಾ

SO YES GUYS; THIS BLOG IS NO LONGER octoberfly.blog! The official link is now back to octoberfly.co.uk.

Happy new year to all of you loyal readers out there! Truth to be spoken… I actually am not very excited about this year. We didn’t count down or anything, just went on with our daily lives. Just another year.

Maybe the winter is getting to me, I do feel quite down. Particularly listening to BBC radio news every morning to work, listening to the suffering of people all over the world: Ukraine, Afghanistan, and many more… (。╯︵╰。) . Then tuning in to local news, the news of nurses having to walk out of their duty to strike for fair pay, railway workers striking for fair pay, and then the postal workers as well! There are also emails sent to us about balloting doctors for a strike too as our pay is no longer up to date with the current inflation. ╥﹏╥

To be honest, we’re quite skint at the moment. But then I see some of my other colleague who struggle to put food on the table for 7 of their children… Who am I to complain?

I’m also not a huge fan of the ‘WOKE’ community really. Why are they so offended about everything? WHY IS EVERYONE SO EASILY OFFENDED THESE DAYS? (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु You can’t even laugh at something without being judged. Or comment the obvious. There may be a white elephant in the room; Σ(°△°|||)︴but don’t talk about it!!! Σ(°△°|||)︴ Σ(°△°|||)︴Σ(°△°|||)︴Σ(°△°|||)︴Σ(°△°|||)︴ Σ(°△°|||)︴ Σ(°△°|||)︴ Σ(°△°|||)︴ No one talks about it.  You can’t call a fat person fat anymore without being called out for fat-shaming. People defending obesity with their lives; literally with their lives. You can’t complain about how life-saving resources from the NHS are being used for gender reassignment surgery, or bariatric surgery, or cosmetic surgery.; because you get chastised.

I don’t know. There’s just so many things wrong with the world these days. Has the world always been like this? Or am I just now grown old, jaded and pessimistic about everything? (ಥ﹏ಥ)

May be an image of 2 people, people standing, christmas tree and indoor

We accidentally killed our 6ft Christmas tree summer this year. Perhaps the word ‘accident’ is a weeeeee bit misleading… We actually cold-blooded left it in the hot sun in extreme thirst to die. ( ಠ ͜ʖಠ)

Erm, don’t look at me…. look at him *points at Mojuju* ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

So this year I ordered a 80-100cm tree for Christmas which was cheap (for a reason)………. and we ended up with a dwarf Christmas tree (๑♡⌓♡๑). Sigh… Christmas trees…  can never get it right……. Well at least with this tree we can slowly grow it every year (PLEASE MOJUJU STOP TORTURING THE POOR PLANTS) with the children! By the time they are 20 years old we would probably have to plant the tree down in the ground for it’s size….. ♡ ~(‘▽^人) Yes but first, we need to keep it alive……. ༼ ಢ_ಢ ༽

Another thing we can never seem to ‘get it right’ is parenting.

Ever wished that being a new parent comes with an IKEA instruction book? I did, I still do. Sometimes being a parent (I’m not even a new parent anymore) really is challenging. We never know if the next thing we do will turn our kids into a psychopathic serial killer. Did Jeffry Dahmer’s parents knew??? Where did they even go wrong?

A lot of us take the parent role as an educator. We are to educate and to teach our innocent young spawns the right and wrong; the good and bad; actions and consequences. Afterall, if not us, who would teach them all these right?

But have you ever looked at your child as a teacher?

Instead of taking the role as an educator and teacher, step back and look at your children; what can you learn from them? I can tell you in my personal experiences, my children has taught me more valuable lessons than any self-improvement or self-help book can ever provide.

I remember the joy in Lil’Tuesday’s face when she was self aware in the bath, splashing the water in the tub. Oh that simple joy of discovering water! When was the last time I splashed some water and simply appreciate the sensation of water? I remember the look on Mr.Monday’s face when I dared him to run under the pouring rain. He was so ‘frighten’ of the rain, and he was avoiding it like a plague. The confused look he had when I stood in the rain and got myself wet, with him joining and screaming in delight later.

But one major lesson I’ve learnt from Mr. Monday these past few weeks was forgiveness.

Continue reading “Parenting is more about learning than teaching.”

ABBA Drag Bottomless Brunch - Bristol

I recently attended a Christmas brunch with my colleagues. Apparently it was meant for a drag queen ABBA brunch with bottomless drinks.

NGL it was a bit of a ripoff…. the food was in tiny proportion; some of the bread were still frozen — feel so sorry for my colleague (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞. The bottomless part was also a little dodgy. You still got to pay for the prosecco, and although there were a long list of cocktails, only 3 were served and they don’t top up for you immediately….

Oh well, there’s no free lunch in the world isn’t it?

Other than that, everything was great. Good company, great people, lots of boogie and dancing. The drag queens are lovely and so confident; I love it! I also think I need some makeup tutorial from them lol.

I woke up with left shoulder pain from all the waving and hands up action…………… (๑♡⌓♡๑) It’s so embarrassing considering I’m not even the oldest person in the group and I should be way fitter than that. I also felt tipsy really quickly (눈_눈) and my colleague was like…. “There is literally no alcohol in this!” ༼ ಢ_ಢ ༽ Well I’m not used to taking alcohol so even just a diluted pint of cocktail makes me woozy sob sob.

I finally recovered from my long covid from October and guess what? I’m ill AGAIN

Last night during midnight I had sudden pains all over my body. I was rigoring too and definitely had fever. I didn’t manage to get much sleep because of the pains and tried to ask Mojuju to take Lil’Tuesday at 6.30am. His groggy ass was so difficult to get hold off lol. ༼ง=ಠ益ಠ=༽ง

Luckily I am on annual leave today anyway and had an appointment with my doctor regarding some results. She checked me over and I was NEWSing at 5. Luckily my chest is clear although it’s unsure why my sats is a little on the low side. The myalgia is 10/10 and although I’m contraindicated for ibuprofen I had to take it anyway as my insanely high fever wasn’t settling with just paracetamol.

I AM SO TIRED. Bless my sister though for baby sitting Mr.Monday today for me while I slept through the day. She also cooked for me; which was lovely but I just had zero appetite. Thanks to her I had a little bit of sleep… except Chibi kept coming and disturbing my sleep because she wants me to cuddle her while I sleep! That wouldn’t be a problem usually if I didn’t have backpains all over……….

See the source image

To celebrate the appointment of Anwar as our 10th prime minister, I am going to blog! (Actually to celebrate the construction of my new computer too. My monitor just arrived today; I’ll blog all about this the next time!)

There is nothing sadder than Malaysian politics and those who see no fault in it. Barisan Nasional our right-winged party ruled for a booming 61 years before being defeated by the opposition party in 2018. I’d like to comment though, that in that 61 years, we can never be sure about whether they were any corruption by the organisation hosting the election event. Traditionally when the oppositional votes are being counted and leading, there will be a massive blackout in the area; and when the power supply comes back, votes for BN would suddenly spike up!!! Funny enough, it happened in so many states that everyone started being suspicious about it, especially during the rise of social media era. In 2018, citizens volunteer to guard the buildings used for vote counting to prevent any potential foul play in the counting of votes. And due to the fruit of the hardwork of the citizens of Malaysia, Barisan Nasional faced it’s first defeat, bringing down our 6th prime minister who has had multiple corruption allegations: Najib Razak.

Continue reading “After a long wait… Anwar Ibrahim is finally the PRIME MINISTER OF MALAYSIA!!!”

Hi all! How have all of you been? I have again lost my password lol and now can only blog from my phone……

My laptop GPU also died. I had to literally resuscitate the laptop as it wouldn’t power up!! So I had to like…. Discharge the entire laptop and pray it chooses the backup GPU to start it.

I realised that laptop prices are HORRIBLY expensive nowadays… And once a single component is fried, you essentially got to throw the whole thing since they are soldered to the motherboard.

So here I am, switching from laptop to desktop. I asked a good friend of mine to build me one and he’s going to do it for me this weekend. The only trouble is that I also need a monitor…. Keyboard…. Ugh… And space. BUT! It will be worth it in the long run!

My sister has also arrived from our home country to us! I’m so thrilled to have her around. I was absent the entire time during her teenage years…. And although we can’t turn back time, at least we are together now! A part of home, is now with me :’)

I also got my first COVID infection after bragging to everyone that I have never had covid yet…. I think I got it from my workplace. Sadly….. And since then I’ve been ill. VERY ILL. It’s been almost a month so you’d think that I’d recover by now but no……. No chance. My oxygen saturation now floats between 95 and 97. But I don’t wanna get admitted T. T SO BREATHE IN DEEP PRINCESS ICHIGO. HANG IN THERE T.T T. T T. T T. T

Totally mind blown. An absolute masterpiece that hasn’t been produced for years.

For those who haven’t been able to watch this, it’s now included in Amazon Prime for free!! I really want to review this movie WITHOUT SPOILER but its just too good that I can’t resist. So spoiler alert!

Continue reading “Everything Everywhere all at once 2022 review (with spoilers)”
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