I’m not going to LIE and tell you that I’m all excited about my weight gain. I’ve always been a skinny size 6 or 0 US. I eat like a massive whale and never once had a problem with my weight. Until now.
Welcome to 30s and welcome pregnancy bod.
Mr. Monday, although the morning sickness lasted for 9 months, was an easy baby to carry. He was also on a smaller side, and was born preterm. Lil’ Tuesday is one massive baby to carry. She was on the 97th centile (50th is the average FYI). Literally the MAX size baby I can ever produce. Because of that, and plus many other factors, I was literally immobile.
ALSO— maybe I did ate a little too much.
I blame her. =X
Dude my appetite was of a dinosaur while I was carrying her!!!
Anyhow, I looked like a whale at the end of my pregnancy by gaining nearly 30kgs. I wasn’t able to even walk without feeling like I’m gonna roll over like a ball. (stop laughing, it’s NOT funny T_T_T_T_T). I was told NOT to diet as it could negatively impact on the baby, and yet I couldn’t exercise either because my scoliosis was killing me and the baby’s weight wasn’t helping. I couldn’t wait to give birth so I could finally gain control over my body!! And well well well, this baby decides NOT to be preterm and went all the way to term (thanks yo, it’s like she is testing my patience, even before coming to earth). You can basically imagine me asking myself why I’m still pregnant, everyday from 36weeks onwards lolol.
SO TUESDAY FINALLY DECIDES TO COME OUT, exactly on my father’s birthday (Awh, I wont lie, this was the sweetest coincidence). So I can FINALLY diet, and get back to my exercise routine?
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
I couldn’t be anymore wrong in my entire life. *screams internally*
p/s: Okay well, at least all the intense crazy craving for food ended and my appetite is back to a normal human being.
God: “Let me now introduce you to pelvic dislocation as well as abdominal muscle separation! Just to spice up your life”
Due to the massive size of Tuesday, I pushed so hard that my entire pelvis got dislocated. I wasn’t able to stand or walk. Due to all the numbness (please, labour is a massively complex process, my entire bottom was confused), I did not realise that my pelvis was painful but instead, I just couldn’t walk.
How do I explain this…? It’s like when you try to lift your foot up to walk, but only, you couldn’t. As if nothing happens when your brain tells your leg to move.
I didn’t think it was weird. ‘Ah, it must be because I’m exhausted from the labour’. I did bring it up to the midwives who was in charge of my care, but she brushed it off and said I had a big baby, I must be sore. Okay, cool. When Mojujuju came to bring me and Lil’Tuesday home, I could not walk, and Mojujuju asked me if I wanted to be checked. ME; BEING THE ASIAN I AM, did not want to trouble the midwives (whom I already told this ‘inability to walk’ to).
Only about 3rd day in, I realised that it IS bloody painful for me to lift my leg, and hence I couldn’t do it.
LONG STORY SHORT: Instead of exercising to get back my body, I was on bedrest with lots of pain killers.
Luckily I got a brace immediately after being diagnosed and it pulled my dislocated pelvis somewhat back into its position. I can now walk (sometimes it still hurts to lift my left foot up from the ground), and run.
Since I started being able to run and exercise, I’ve manage to lose a good amount of weight! Which is great because I have been having this body image issue. But then today suddenly I had this epiphany while running;
I’M SO GLAD I AM FAT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!!!!
Call me crazy, but I honestly am really delighted. All my life I have been skinny. Feeling like I have not ‘done enough’ to deserve my killer body shape (yes I am vain AF, and I defo think I once had a body to die for— well if no one will, I will xD)
(I think this was my chubbiest moment; and my body was still acceptable)
AND BEST PART OF IT, if I successfully get back in shape, I can then confidently tell others that THEY CAN TOO, instead feeling like I have no say in it. And I can finally feel and empathise with others who are struggling with their weight or body image, especially my patients.
Maybe this is an opportunity for me to be a better me, and for me to grow mentally!
This was me after having Mr. Monday.
I’ve already lost more than 2kg in a week since I started running (I know, it sounds really unhealthy; but I assure you I am literally eating every meal!!! I’m never a fan of crash diet). At first I thought my scale was playing up, but nope; it is definitely true numbers. I’ll keep it up and I hope all of you who are trying to lose weight will go through this journey with me! I’ll definitely update you on my progress.
So far I still need to do lots of core exercise to fix my separated abdominal muscle. But running, is truly amazing. I love it! It actually makes me really chirpy afterwards. Maybe runner’s high is real!
Remember: If I can do it, so can you!