1. Virginity equates to honour.

I grew up in a conservative community and my mom has always emphasised on virginity and purity. This caused me to remain a virgin until I met Mojujuju. Pretty sure I lost a few exes because I refused to have sex anyway ┐(´д｀)┌. However for some reason virginity only applies to girls and not boys? It’s fine for the boys to sleep with 100000 but the moment one of us are known to have ‘lost our flower’, suddenly we’re as trashy as it can be.
When I ‘lost my virginity’ to Mojujuju, it was… ugh… breathtaking in a way but also super underwhelming. I don’t know what I was expecting lol but… well… that’s it? So I’m… not a virgin anymore??! (╬ಠิ益ಠิ) What does this even mean??! 

I don’t recommend sleeping around okay — (risk of STD lol). But I just think women should stop being brainwashed about virginity and how it ruins their ‘honour’. I think once they hit 25 especially (like me), it’s just pointless. I still do think that love making is something very intimate however, and is something that would truly affect you if you don’t carry it out with the right person. So ‘yes’ to careful selection of who you have sex with, ‘no’ to pushing virginity and honour concept.

 2. All smart students go ‘science stream’

I hear this again and again by every parents. Some of my friends of similar age still believe in this. Science stream basically means you take sciences subjects (biology, physics, and chemistry) as your core subjects in secondary/highschool. Now before we proceed, I would like to declare that I was in science stream, not ‘art stream’ (accounting, history, literature, music and arts).

Parents usually push their kids to science stream because they believe it will bring them a better future and career choice— and there is this belief that only smart kids are able to enter science stream. This is completely false. If a child with IQ of 180 wishes to enter art stream, nothing can stop him (except for his Asian parents of course). I was one of the ‘victim’ of being pushed to science stream. It wasn’t my choice; infact I dare say that 60% of kids in science stream did not chose nor want to be in science stream!

I had a friend called Eunice who chose to go to art stream (accounting) and I really applaud her for doing so and following her interest. No way in hell my parents were going to allow that, but I wished, I did always wish I wasn’t in science stream. Physics was hell, I had zero interest in it, until now I don’t even know what I’ve learnt from it and what I even use it for.

Do you think Leonardo da Vinci was dumb? He was a scientist, but he was famous for his artwork. Do you think Vincent van Gogh was stupid? His artworks have more hidden agenda than your Netflix password.

I also have a friend with PhD on literature and is a Professor in linguistic science and makes dictionaries for the public.

 3. Religious people must be good

I think we all hands down agree on this. Some religious people are worse than atheist. They are so obsessed with following their scripture they have zero care and kindness for others. Some are kind only to reap ‘points’ to go to heaven. Listen guys, doesn’t matter if you go to mosque every Friday or church every Sunday, fast every Ramadan or release pigeons every Vesak; if you do not repent your mistakes and your soul is as dark as a grenade, soz to break the news to you: You’re going to hell.

 4. Water your plants everyday to keep it alive

Let’s move away from heavy topics and talk about something less serious. If you’ve been killing every single plants you have; this is probably why. DO NOT water your plants everyday to keep it alive. Because in reality, you’re not watering them to care for them; you’re watering them to kill them. Plants root need some air to breathe and if you’ve been watering them everyday, it’s likely that their roots are suffocating. Some plants like citrus plants also tend to get root rot pretty easily. Well, I know we all love bathtubs; but can you imagine being in a bathtub everyday, every hour, every second? Yes your skin will probably start to wrinkle… AND ROT!

So do your plants a favour and just let her be for today!

 5. Dogs are bestfriends, cats are aloof

I don’t think anyone who doesn’t have cats would understand even after reading this. Unlike the famous belief that cats are aloof, they are actually quite the opposite. Cats are social creatures that can also be solitary. However the way they socialise are very different compared to dogs. They dislike constant petting and snuggles, but prefer your company. They also get lonely when left alone for long. Depending on their breed (just like dogs), some might even need constant attention, such as Bengals.

Cats do not jump around you when you come home but instead simply acknowledge your returning presence as pleasant.

 6. Weeds and pests (bloody aphids) need to disappear!

I never had a garden growing up, until we moved into our first home 5 years ago. Trying to maintain a garden is horrendous, I also had to weed  the garden non-stop!!! I hated weeds, also why do weeds exist?!

Now 5 years after battling with the weeds, I am simply going to embrace it. Anything can be classified as weeds if it’s growing at a spot it’s not supposed to; doesn’t matter if it’s a rose, or a dandelion. I’ve learnt that some weeds such as dandelions are edible; even the leaves! Also leaving a small area for weeds to grow does actually help with attracting pollinators as well as beneficial wildlife. My chickens also love a good weed meal! And if we truly doesn’t want the weed to grow in a specific place, we should always mulch up! 🙂

Now when I had my very first bush of rose, I was upset to find its new growth and flowerbuds to be plagued with aphids. Not only they irked me out but they were sucking the life out of my beautiful baby!!! What did I do then? Got a bottle of ‘rose cure’ to spray them! They all died and my rose was saved! But really though?

Any form of pest control that isn’t natural will not only kill the pest but also whatever other beneficial insects. Don’t allude yourself by making a dishsoap solution to spray and thinking you’re NOT using any chemicals so… it should be fine right? NO. Sorry to disappoint you but that dishsoap solution is going to suffocate not only the aphids but also the ladybugs that feeds on them.

I stopped using any form of pest control on my rose bushes and this year, I noticed that my rose buds doesn’t have any aphids on!!! What’s going on? Well… I spot a family of ladybugs having a feast nearby :)))) Remember that even if you don’t kill beneficial insects, if you remove a pest completely, you’re removing the food source to beneficial insects!

 7. Growing your own food is hard and not worth the effort.

With the food price spiking throughout the world due to impending recession, war and rising costs, some of us have thought about growing our own food…. Only that it is going to be SO HARD right?!

Nope. Growing your own food can be challenging but it isn’t as hard as many thought. You can simply leave seeds to germinate for 2 weeks and then only lightly water it for the next 3 weeks before you actually need to focus on fertilising and growing it well. It is a hardwork, if you got a large land to manage. But a container or two? C’mon Mr. Monday does that as a side hustle and he’s only 4!

Whether it is worth the effort or not is another matter of discussion. I learnt first hand that freshly harvested strawberries tasted nothing like the store bought ones. Same goes to all other vegetables. Plus the joy of harvesting your hardwork? I think it’s worth it. Money wise; there’s a lot of ways to save costs such as recycling used vegetable plastic tray, revamping old milk bottles into watering cans and many more! As long as you’re not actually spending it all on flashy equipments, seeds are actually pretty cheap!

 8. Going vegan saves the earth (and animals).

I know I’m going to get stoned by all my vegan friends, sorry but not sorry! Although animal farming emits a large portion of greenhouse gases and is horrendous for its carbon footprint, plenty of vegetable farming including soy (which is vegan’s staple food) can be equally damaging to the environment. First of all, large scale deforestation activity needs to be carried out which in turn disrupt the ecosystem. Farm produce are also being imported and exported to ensure more vegetable and fruit options which aren’t limited to the current season of the country. All these transportation through air, land and sea drastically increases the carbon footprint of the produce. Fertilisers, and other soil ammendments and cause toxic chemicals being leeched into the ecosystem! Not to mention the use of pesticides which unfortunately not only kill pests but also pollinators such as the very endangered bees!

I do however agree that modern meat consumption is way too high. While 500 years ago meat is a monthly or weekly treat, now it’s in every.single.meal. This can’t  be good! But if the entire world go vegan, what would happen to the farm animals? There would be no need for such species to survive anymore, as they were selectively bred to have characteristics that would make them ideal to be on the dining table! IMO what needs to happen is smaller scale of animal farming. Everything is about healthy balance!

 9. Marriage counselling is for marriage with problems.

Well yes, but no. Of course if you have a marital issues you should go to marriage counselling, but even if you don’t it is definitely beneficial!

I truly admire my Islam and Christian friends who go for a pre-marital counselling. I think it’s great. I think it’s such a deeply ingrained taboo in many communities that ‘if you go to counselling, something must be wrong with you!’. Well sorry but no.

Look, we go to school to learn, we learn at work. We read instructions when we’re building IKEA furniture. So why isn’t marriage the same? It is definitely NOT easy (I’m telling from experience haha!) for two people from DIFFERENT background DIFFERENT personality and DIFFERENT needs to live under the same roof. Counselling helps with managing our expectations and understanding each other better to avoid conflict. If you haven’t, sign up for it!

 10. God will protect you.

I’m not an atheist, I do believe in God, but sorry to disappoint you guys; God is not coming. If this universe is created by God, surely we’re way too insignificant to be noticed by him? Scientists have shown to us how massive this universe is and that is continuously expanding, think about the amount of galaxies, planets, stars… we’re nothing but a speck of dust. We are simply insignificant beings, despite being self-aware.

If this is just the issue of faith, then I guess I truly am lack of faith. Day in, day out, I read news of war, people dying, children taken away from their parents and never to be found again. Back when I was a baby, a little girl was found nearby my living area; naked, raped, staked with… I’ll spare you the details. In Korea, there’s a similar case that lead to the movie called ‘Hope’. In India, there was a family who committed ritual suicide because one single family member was delusional; watch ‘house of secrets’ on Netflix. I’ve seen throughout my profession, patients abused by the people they trusted the most. Where was God then? Throughout all those suffering, if he was made to protect, where was he?

The fact is, he does exist. But I don’t at all believe he would meddle in our affair. Perhaps he would in our afterlife; but certainly not now.